


I'm not givin' up, givin' up, not me (Even when nobody else believes)

by Moodypetrichorlove



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, F/M, Family, Feelings, Found Family, Hopeful Ending, I'm Bad At Tagging, Introspection, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Riley has faith in Mac, Riley is going to get Mac back, Riley-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23982514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moodypetrichorlove/pseuds/Moodypetrichorlove
Summary: An hour or so ago – she’s not really sure how long it has been so better not take her word for it – life as they knew it at the Phoenix completely changed.
Relationships: Riley Davis & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016), Riley Davis/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 79





	I'm not givin' up, givin' up, not me (Even when nobody else believes)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! So, I wrote this fic on Friday, sometime before Episode 4x12 aired. It's an introspective look at Riley, and what she might have been thinking during that scene in the war room when Matty announces Mac has gone rogue. Pure speculation and wishful thinking on my part. 
> 
> This was supposed to be a short drabble, but it got away from me, so I originally posted it on ff.net. Shared it on Tumblr but for some reason it wasn't showing up in the tags.  
> Now I'm sharing it here because apparently I'm on AO3, too. 
> 
> Well, would you look at that? I just rambled, ugh. Anyway, please read and review. Would love to know what you guys think! 
> 
> Tumblr: @moodypetrichorlove

Riley feels unbalanced. Like she has lost her equilibrium. There’s people filing into the war room, way more than ever before, and she feels like she is in a sea of strangers. An ocean of unfamiliarity. Everyone looks to be at their utmost attention, on high alert, but she just feels numb. Detached. 

An hour or so ago – she’s not really sure how long it has been so better not take her word for it – life as they knew it at the Phoenix completely changed. She is hoping with all she has that it’s not irrevocable. She has to believe it can be reversed. Otherwise, she doesn’t know what she’s going to do. How she’s going to go on. 

Mac wouldn’t betray them. He cannot. It is not like him, it is not who he is. Angus MacGyver is not the person who turns his back on family. Real, always-there-for-you family. Family bound not by blood, but shared life experiences. Strengthened with pizzas and beers after every mission accomplished. With all the promises of going kaboom together. With each sincere _you’re never alone, Mac_ , every soft _you have me, Riley_ , each firm _you can do this, Mac_ and every determined _I’m not leaving you, Mac!_ She refuses to believe it. She doesn’t want to because she knows Mac. She knows him the best and most out of every member of their team. She knows there’s a reason he is doing all of this stupid, reckless shit and no, she doesn’t think it’s because he believes Codex is right in wanting to pull a Thanos. Being okay with killing a quarter of the population to save the rest of it is not something that can ever be associated with kind and brave Angus MacGyver. Especially after Lasky; she knows what hitting that button at the power plant did to him. They might not have talked about it, but she could see it; in the way his shoulders drenched just a little bit more at the end of that extremely long day, his easy and determined gait stilted, in his glassy, red-rimmed eyes and in the way that he stopped sleeping. 

So, when almost all of Phoenix has gathered in the war room and Matty announces _**MacGyver**_ – not Mac – has gone rogue, her numbness breaks and she cannot stop herself which is how she finds herself blurting out, “He might have gone rogue, but he is not betraying us. He can’t. Come on, guys, it’s Mac!” 

Her outburst is met with stony glances and an eerie silence that feels like it is gradually, painstakingly, making its way into her. A beat, two beats, and then Matty’s authoritative, no BS voice fills the air again, “Riley, let’s not play the denial game, alright? He broke out the Codex operative, gassed us all, and escaped. As of right now, he’s essentially a defected runaway.”

Before she can form even one word to respond, Desi speaks up, her gaze boring into Riley, “I begged him not to do it and he looked me in the eye only to tell me it was too late for that. What more proof do you want?” 

That is when Riley shuts up. Her faith in Mac wavers because Desi makes a good point. If he didn’t even listen to his girlfriend, the woman he loves as per his weird, twisted confession Riley had the utmost pleasure of being privy to, how can Riley believe he is still the same old Mac? Why is Riley so intent on believing in him and his innate goodness? Her heart skips a beat and her brain batters her hard and fast with the answer, and she thinks _oh yes, there it is. I may very well be in love with the guy. That’s why._

And that is when her faith in Mac swings back in full force. She cannot give up on him, not now. He’s been through a lot over the years, but this year just might be the worst of his life. He had to leave his father behind to die, he found out he has an evil Aunt who wants to unleash hell on earth as planned by his dead mother, of all people. She thinks the darkness might be getting to him. And she curses herself for not recognising it earlier. She’s angry with herself now; she wishes she hadn’t been so engrossed in her feelings for him, wishes she could have muddled through the haze and perhaps she would have seen the signs of the darkness trying to drown him from the inside. 

So, she decides. She decides she is not going to believe Mac has defected to the opposing side unless he looks her in the eye and tells her himself. Yes, she knows what Desi said. However, no disrespect to Desi, she wants a go at it herself because she _**knows**_ Mac is a terrible liar. She remembers telling him that once. She remembers being right about him lying to her back then. She thinks she can accurately assess his level of honesty this time, too. She decides she isn’t going to believe it until Mac can let her get hurt. Willingly. Unflinchingly. 

Riley Davis is not going to let Angus MacGyver down so easily. Not trusting in him would be doing **_exactly_** that and enough people have done that already. 

And as it happens, the next time she sees Mac, her heart starts _thud thud thudding_ in her heaving chest and her whole body seems to breathe a sigh of relief because even when he’s siding with the bad guys, he still cannot bring himself to let Riley be harmed. 

So she holds on to it, the knowledge that it is not irrevocable, that she can bring him back. And if her equilibrium comes back, well then, she’s not opposed to it. 


End file.
